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| Still I was looking for you in the city last night |
| 07.18.04 (12:50 pm) [edit] |
Mood: Contemplative/Repressing my guilt
Music: In The City, Razorlight
Relationships must have been easier before modern society. Firstly the word didn't exist so there was no set of morals attached to the concept (well except no incest but thats part of a bigger concept [what a cool word, concept]) I mean its wasn't exactly mills and boon back then was it? But I guess they missed out on actually developing friendships and aquantances apart from like hunting or hitting things......
What I meant by my first statement though was that, this kinda thing must have been easier before photographs and videos. I've been looking at some pictures of Girl B (aka "my mistress" in her words)(aka my best friend) and she looks incredibly hot in them. She has this real sweet one of me and her on the last day of school. Those are her words and she hates pics of her with a vengence. She's online now, she's ill god bless her and she's going on holiday in a week as well. I'm wearing one of her hair bobbles for some strange emotional attachment reason as well. I had to make up a coverstory to my g/f, I don't think she bought it.
Now I'm looking at a pic of my g/f wearing like a skirt and top and she looks great too. I'm hating this at the moment, I'm hurting my best friend and shes being understandably cold towards me, I think she's trying to get over me. I would know I've had to over her before. Shes going away in a week tomorrow and she won't see me before then. She refuses to. [LINE]
You've been Blue Stung
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| Like watching a flaming wreck |
| 07.18.04 (2:03 am) [edit] |
Mood: Fair to good
Music: Mr Brightside, The Killers
Well my life is like a flaming wreck now, you shouldn't watch but you can't help but do so to find out the outcome. I mean at the moment I'm causing one person pain by even existing i mean she's self harming for god's sake! And she did it right in my own house, she fucking scares me to death at times.
Well and I give it about a week or two, until my girlfriend figures out whats going on between me and "my mistress" as she called herself friday. I just wish ild known about her feelings before I met my g/f because we could of got together and avoided all this. [LINE]
You've been Blue Stung
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| It gets better... |
| 07.17.04 (11:52 am) [edit] |
Mood: AAAAARRRRGGH! I Feel awful!!
Music: Not music, Will and Grace!
Oh my god, well my g/f is here and she looks great and I have feelings for her but i dont know to what extent and i definatly have feelings still for my best friend who is also ill at the moment... Jesus, I'm worried about her. [LINE]
You've been Blue Stung
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| Secrets/Decisions |
| 07.17.04 (5:39 am) [edit] |
Mood: Extra extra guilty and burning
Music: Just Because, Jane's Addiction
I am the worst person in the world.
Let me explain, there are three people involved in this little shenaniangan (someone correct me on the spelling please...) myself, my girlfriend and my best friend who happens to be female...anyone see where this is headed?
Well I've had a huge thing for my best friend for the last like three years, during which i was continueosly rejected (again correct me) but we remained friends, best friends infact. Well when we were talking to each other. This continued up until the start of my gcse exams, when innocently i invited her back to mine as she had nowhere else to go... of course this ended with massive make out session. This of course carried on through the bases to home and last base (which to be honest was really crap but i guess i wasnt ready...)
Well we continued on this track for awhile until i met my current girlfriend through drunkenness. We got on great and about a week in to the relationship, we were at third. Of course, the next day, my best friend and I were alone in my house meant to be doing work. We didn't. We just kept going. So anyway this continued for a few days until a couple of days ago. Then my best friend started making hints about how i was her perfect guy and how she shouldn't of turned me down (we were already sex buddies i guess but i wanted more, she didn't).
This all erupted last night/early morning as my parents have gone to bristol and i have the house to myself. I stupidly stupidly stupidly invited my best friend to sleep last night. Can anyone guess what happened?! Of course this is when the bombshell hit me, shes liked me that way for about just as long as i have but just a. not wanted a relationship or 2. not had the self confidence to tell me. And that now she loved me. And i think i do too. So i have to decide between my best friend who i've loved and adored for the last three years and my current girlfriend who is just as nice and is into me so much it would probably kill her if i left her.
Oh and just to further complicate things, my g/f is staying at my house tonight... Right i'm off to get alcohol and pasta... I need it. [LINE]
You've been Blue Stung
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| New Beginnings not Newcomer |
| 07.16.04 (3:22 am) [edit] |
Mood: Guilty
Music: New Born, Muse
Hey everyone, although this is a new blog I'm not new to the blogging experience here on tblog. I'm a two month veteran (huh?) on tblog as someone else but i really needed somewhere else to write down my thoughts and mostly guilt away from my assorted friends... So I'm packing up and sharing my time between the two of them, bringing with me my crazed irreverent humour and prophecies of doom... (Well maybe not eh?)
Oh and if anyone wants to know where the name bluesting comes from one of my childhood aliases when i was sigh (group therepy time) a geek lol.
Well keep coming back as I wear my heart on my sleeve and spew my guts (actually thats more of a weekend thing, oh wait it is the weekend....)[LINE]
You've been Blue Stung...
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